Me and myself

It’s one of those days. Days when all you want to do is scream at everybody in the vicinity, rip their head offs, tell them to shut their exponentially irritating blabber and LET PEACE PREVAIL!! Aarrgh!!
Yes, one of THOSE days. It has been sixteen long years, and I am yet to figure out as to HOW do I handle myself during these mood swings of mine. Result : An irritated bunch of friends, agitated parents and clueless me. It's not exactly my idea of a normal day.
The hardest thing bout such days is that I have to bear the brunt emotionally, mentally and materialistically. Yes, materialistically. Take today for an example. I was so rude to my mom that she confiscated my phone. My phone !! the only thing that keep me going. My air, my water, my EVERYTHING. :(
Anyway, leaving all of this aside, I've decided to change certain things about myself. Though it's hard to admit, but I agree that I lose my temper very easily. I'm too demanding, and am not willing to give in return. I expect people to understand how I feel without making any effort. I expect of them to do things for me....things that are, at times, impractical. There are days when I expect my friends to bear with everything I say or do, irrespective of the fact whether it's in keeping with what they want/like.
I'd like to change all of this about me. I love myself, with all my imperfections and perfections. But I'd like to become a better person....For everyone's sake.

Religion : No, not your personal choice

An athiest? OR maybe an agnostic ? But I DO believe in a supernatural power, right ? To be honest, I never really put much thought into this. And neither do I intend to. I don't mean it in the I'm-a-teen-so-I'm-being-a-REBEL sort of way. I've always believed that religion and belief are one's personal choice. But the kind of society we are being brought up in, it's more or less forced upon us. I am born into a Hindu family. Does that make ME a Hindu ? Is that the criteria ? I don't think so, because it is futile unless I have complete faith and undying belief in the religion. What's the point of making me memorise the Gayatri Mantra, if I feel that it wouldn't alleviate my suffering ? Another thing that bothers me is the way religion is portrayed these days. It's like the Taliban, only the stingent rules and allegedly sanctioned by God. I'm not saying that our scriptures are at fault, or that they need to be amended. I'm pretty sure that God didn't want a lady to throw herself intothe fire just because her husband died ! Sati was something invented by mankind. God loves life. He bestows life upon us, and I find it very hard to believe that He'd want us to end it in His name.


Hinduism is a beautiful religion. But there are those few people, who seek to corrupt it. DEMEAN it. Wy not let it be the way it is meant to ?! Why do we feel the need to put in our own riduculous inputs, and thus spoil the sanctity of it ? Hinduism does not ask Harijans to be treated the way they are. STILL are. IT does seek to humiliate a person just because he was born into a particular strata of the society. And I strongly believe that Hinduism does not ask its followers to treat women like they are. Why can't we be treated as EQUALS, for once ?!

All said and done, I'm still not sure about my belief. I'm not a Hindu. But definately not an athiest, either. I am human. And I like to preach humanity. Trust me, it's simply awesome. :)

Funny little things ! :D

Like every other realisation that hits me, this one's also absurd and completely pointless. But a realisation nonetheless. This one's about auto rickshaws. Yes, those funny-looking things, lacking any individuality whatsoever. This might seem weird, but they've SERIOUSLY not got anything of their own. The next time you hire/see one, take a closer look at it. IT doesn't fall into the two-wheeler or the four-wheeler category. It has got three wheels. And it has got that excuse for a steering that rightfully belongs to a two-wheeler, while its whole seating arrangement is a poor imitation of a four-wheeler's.

And the noise. UGH, the noisee ! Makes you want to scream and shout and pull your hair out and, and...AAAAGH ! Just, DIE ! But no. you HAVE to put up with it, because that's simply how an auto rickshaw is : I be noisy, I ain't gonna change.

Nigga be awesome. :|

Birthday !

It is my 16th. For some absurd reason, I can't believe it. I mean, when, and HOW, did I turn 16 ? Seems like yesterday, when I was 14. The punk, I-don't-give-a-damn 14-year old. When the gravest scandal in life was finding about a girl's boyfriend. When stupid things like polynomials used to take my breath away. When not beating a person to pulp, and letting him go away after a verbal war was the mature way of dealing with issues. When disobeying teachers and being friends with your seniors was THE coolest thing in the world. When your socks touched the ground and your skirts, well, they touched new heights. :P That's how it was ! How it was supposed to be.

Reminiscing it all, I find it rather funny. Back then, we were the most mature people on this wide planet, and knew what we were doing. But did we ? Is bringing CDs and cellphones to school the mature way? Or maybe bitching about your partner is.

*Sigh*

But you know what, I don't regret a thing I did/said. We need to experience every stage of our life, right ? Then I'm glad that I did. I'm glad I did those stupid, crazy things, because they made me realise that they WERE in fact stupid and crazy.

Anyway, back to turning 16. Throughout my life, I've seen some very astonishing incidents. Some made me happy, some sad. But they were important nonetheless.And now that I'm turning 16, I'm awed at how things have changed. And drastically at that. For starters, my friends would be going to different schools. This means there would be no break-time fun anymore. :( Then there's commerce. Everything is so different ! So very different.

However, turning 16 has got its perks too. A lot more freedom, responsibility and chances of having fun ! :D Yeah, cellphone too. :P

Ending this entry on a positive note, I'm ecstatic that I'm turning 16. It made me realise the importance of being 14. The significance of that part of my life. :)

Absurd lessons in a moving car

I was woken up at 8:30 in the morning today. By any teenager's standards, this is ridiculously early. Not only this, it has many after-effects too. For starters, I woke up to my head pounding, and my hair going in every possible direction. The ready-to-burst head only worsened the scenario. I got up, put my bare feet on the cold marble floor, but it didn't end in this fairytale-ish way. I stumped my toe against the bedside, dropped a glass of water on the book 'Message in the bottle' *sob* and dropped my cellphone. I'm pretty sure you've guessed what all this led to. Yeah, innumerable abuses flying all around the room, fired at almost every non-living thing. Wingardium Leviosa ! :D (This one was meant purely for the Harry Potter readers. OR else, it's all Greek to you ! )

I made myself a cup of coffee, with the amount of coffee exceeding the quantity of milk. :P I was at my cousin's place, and had to leave ASAP. Hence, I shoved my clothes and books hastily into a carry bag, ready to go. But because life loves doing absolutely annoying things to me, the carry bag split, and I had to make do with carrying everything in my lap.

Life couldn't have possibly gone worse than this, right ?

That's what I thought. Until I saw a sight which shook me up. It's nothing touching. Some may not find it moving at all. Nope, not even remotely. But there are moments in your life when things as simple as a, say, lamppost, teach you great lessons. Yeah, you get the idea. :P

Okay, so I got into the car with my Chachu, who was supposed to drop me home. I was still pretty annoyed, what with the fact that I was holding a mug of VERY hot coffee in a moving car.

As we were about to reach my place, I saw three children sitting in a row on the ground, with dirty plates placed before them. Upon looking closely, I saw that their mother was walking towards them, holding a single Chapati. That's it. She stopped before the first kid, and gave him a part of it. Similarly, she gave the other two a piece too. In the end, there was a small piece left, which I supposed must've been for herself. However, to my immense surprise, she glanced at the children's plates, looked at the barely-there piece of roti, and split it into three parts ! She gave her share to her children.

I'm aware of the fact that such stories aren't uncommon. We hear such things from time to time, and they are no big deal. That's what I thought too. However, watching it in person, seeing it happen right in front of me somehow struck a chord. Life's bad ? Just because of a carry bag who betrayed me, a bedside who conspired against my toe, a glass who found wetting my book funny and an over-flowing mug of coffee in a moving car ? I don't think so. Those kids had a smile on their face. The kind of smile which puts you at peace. Which makes you feel ashamed of your dissatisfied and whiny self.

I love my life the way it is. And this post goes out as a tribute to that lady, that mother. I respect her for what she did, because I know I wouldn't do it for anyone, no matter how much I love the person.

Manisha's party and the Weird Fork

Okay, so it was Manisha Oswal's birthday. Sweet Sixteen !! Yay ! Imagine a scene where six super-excited 16 year olds, all dressed to kill ( themselves :P ) enter an OMG restaurant. For the ignorant souls, OMG restaurants are those which are ridiculously posh, have ridiculously high-priced dishes with ridiculously difficult and alien-ish names. Okay, so back to the scene. We meant to enter the restaurant with the Oh-we-are-SO-posh look, but it went sorta wrong. Okay, quite wrong. FINE, VERY wrong, now would you stop tormenting me ?! Hmph. Anyway, so, just when we were about to pull-off THE look and reach our table successfully, I whispered to myself, " Hmm, kuch zyada hi andhera nhi hai yahaan pe ? How are we supposed to read the menu card? ". I SWEAR I whispered. However, this annoyingly pretty girl sitting at the table right next to the door, downing drinks like it was the end of the world, overheard my conversation with, well, me. Not only this, she actually laughed AND gave me the are-you-for-real look. Evil Ms. Drinky.

Anyway, we finally made it to our table. Then there was this race in order to reach first. No, to be honest, it was so that we could get to sit on the couch. But alas ! Me and my two friends, Noor and Aaina, had to make do with the stupid chairs. To add on to our miseries, our table was placed on a slightly raised platform thingy. So everytime I pushed back my chair, I had this feeling that I would fall. Anyway, Manisha asked us to go through the list of dishes and order a snack. I pretended I was way too decent to actually order, when the truth was that it really WAS pretty dark to read. Or maybe I need glasses. Eew !

After fifteen minutes, our order arrived. Till that time, I didn't really pay attention to the plates and forks and knives kept before us. I mean, who pays attention towards such stuff ?! It's there. Fine. End of it.
Okay, so here goes the conversation :

Manisha : Meher, you've GOT to eat something ! Come on. It's my birthday.
Me: Don't the forks look a bit weird ? :\
Noor: Okay, so it's decided. Me, Meher and Malvi would be celebrating our birthdays together, keeping our schedules in mind. WE can't possibly attend three parties in nine days !
Me : I can. Come on !
Everyone : Tu vehli hai. Commerce kahin ki.
ME : :|
Aaina : Aye haye, it's got onions AND tomatoes. I'm SO not having these peanuts.
Khyati : Nautanki. They taste so good !
Me : Look, these forks are really very weird. Honest to God !
Manisha: They're alright, villager ! Kahaan se aayi hai ?!
ME : Ohhh, NOW I geddit. They aren't for people who eat with their left hand. They're for you boring people. The right handers.
EVERYONE : (After looking at each other and my smug expression)BWAHAHAHAHAHA ! Khassa ! What are you gonna do now ? Make use of your HANDS ? Bwahaha !


Believe you me, the forks WERE pretty weird. Stupid. Impractical. After struggling with mine for a good 15 minutes ( AND being laughed at ) , I finally gave up and asked for a normal fork. Yeah, that's what I said. " Could I have a NORMAL fork please? " while holding the weird fork in the waiter's face. Hmph. Crucify me ! Whatever. For me, the highlight of the lunch WAS the fork. IT was REALLY weird. How I wish I'd clicked a picture of it !

Oh, and yeah, we had awesome fun Manisha. And your renovated home, especially your room, is something I'd readily DIE for. :D

Had life been easy to comprehend, it wouldn't have been life at all !

It's crazy how life can get all bizzare in a jiffy. How you're suddenly hit by an incident so grave that it leaves you numb. One such incident left me shaken. But it also taught me a lot of things, which are as follows :

1.Tragic news strike without prior notice. There wouldn't be an offical stamp paper saying ' Regarding the advent of a tragic piece of news'. Nah, doesn't happen that way. IT comes, turns you into a leaky tear monster and seeks sadistic pleasure in making you feel miserable.

2.You've got to believe in it in order to make it happen. Positive thinking works. It works wonders. There's a person who's holds a very important place in my life, and his awesome self was marred due to a sudden and grave incident. However, we both decided to get through it in our own way. Positive thinking. 'The Secret'. And believe you me, it worked. There wasn't an ion of doubt in my mind about the success of our plan. We both realised the intensity of the situation, but our belief in such a crude yet effective idea made it possible for us to get through the thing without being down in the dumps.

3.People you love wouldn't be around forever. no matter how hard you pray, plead or beg, nothing can change the fact that humans are mortal. The incident made me realise the importance of getting those people to know that you cherish them, that you love them with your heart and soul. Some people may find this idea obnoxious, like I did. However, you'd regret not doing it when you see the person lying on a hospital bed, with alien equipments beeping in an eerie way and you feeling utterly helpless. Don't let that happen. IT would leave you shattered.

4.I'm not the kind of person who believes in God. I'd rather call it believing in a supernatural power, not God. However, since the demise of my grandfather, life came into focus. My perspective about a lot of things changed. I started believing in something I waved off as stupdiity earlier : miracles. Ever since my grandfather died, ther's been this hollow space inside of me. A space no one can ever fill up. He was someone I looked up to, someone who made me feel safe and loved. And then, within a matter of two months, he left us. IT was all so sudden, I barely had the time to let it seep in. There's one positive thing I attach to this otherwise unfortunate incident, though. Now, whenever I have to ask for something from God, I've got a very special person sitting right beside him, who'd speed up things by whispering my wishes right into His ears. I know he does that, because I've seen my dreams come true, my wishes being fulfilled.

All in all, this has been one bizzare month. There have been some happy moments, some sad and some plain boring. But I guess that's what makes my life's randomness justified. :)