Friday, March 18, 2011

I love...

I love how riding shotgun in a car with the music drowning my own voice gives me this crazy rush. Like I own the friggin' world !

I love how listening to a particular song brings back a flood of memories, gluing me to the spot. What follows is a resigned shaking of head, a Well-life's-like-that smile, linking of arms with your best friend and trying to put it all behind you.

I love how an inspirational article/video shakes me up. How it makes me introspect, makes me pick out all the unnecessary elements of life and let go of them.

I love how I make a promise to a friend, and then break it. And how she looks into your eyes, smiles, and says, " I knew you's do this. Why do you think I asked you to make a promise in the first place ? "

I love how, at times, all I want to do is listen to sad songs and cry my heart out. The way it makes me feel light is inexplicable.

I love to sit at my room's window with a mug of coffee and watch the rain drench everything. The spitter-spatter, people scurrying to find cover, children playing in the puddles, guys playing football.....Most of all, I love that smile I get from within everytime this happens.

I love how, when I'm feeling utterly defeated and purposeless, I look at my puffy eyes and snotty nose in the mirror, and start laughing. Hard. And just like that, the past one hour never happened !

I love how the only reaction my crying can get out of my friends is, " Ho gaye drame shuru ? BE A MAN ! "

I love how, at times, believing in the existence of a supernatural power makes this assuring calm descend over me. How it can put me to sleep after 3 straight nights of nothing but crying.

I love the smell of petrol. Driving into a fueling station awakens my senses. There's no sane explanation to this. IT just happens to me.

I love how I get this insane adrenaline rush whenever I'm entering a netball court for a match. IF we lose, the world seems to crumble down around me. If we win, well, IT IS PARTY TIME, BABY !!

I love how every song in your playlist suddenly starts carrying a significance to your life. Coldplay, how do you know my life story ?!

I love how, at the time of my last exam, instead of studying for it, I make plans of how to spend the holidays that would follow.

I love how you have such meaningful conversations with your best friends at the most random places possible : During an audition for the school play, the playground, while waiting in line for the school canteen, in the park outside your place....absolutely anymore.

I love how you listen to a song before any of your friends did, and you just can't get enough of yourself !

Life. Love. Lies. Laughter. A broken heart. A mended attitude. A tearful eye. An ear-to-ear grin. A lost friend. A new-found companion. The grilling school days. A calm Sunday morning.
I love everything about life....and more.

It's safe to say,
I finally feel the warmth of the day. :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A dead calm

It is like a raging fire's seething through my whole being, scathing me internally, venoming my interior.

Like a hundred souls rest within this mortal body, and they break havoc all the time. Chained beasts, writhing and snapping at the locks holding them back, doing away with each link with every single attempt. Not a single one goes wasted. Boring into me, my heart, my soul with that cold, red-eyed gaze of theirs. And no, it does not make me tremble with fear. It just makes the diabolic me stand taller, towering over my calm self.

The malice ,the sheer wish of destroying the other is back. A blinding rage, finding its way out of every little loophole, like a dormant volcano that suddenly came to life. The more you push it down, the more it hits you back with invincible velocity, tearing away at every fibre of your being.

And then, a sudden calm. A smile ,a breath of relief. A look of love, of care, of compassion. Ah ! And we finally get back to normal.........or do we ?

Another one crossing the line, and the peaceful demeanor is shattered to pieces, each one piercing into his body, his mind, is blessed SOUL, as he tries to struggle free of your gripping gaze. A gaze that presses down on every nerve of his, slitting each one of them as it progresses. He bleeds of apologies; He reeks of misgivings. He weeps with regret; he is hit with yet another sin. And just when you thought you won't ever get done with him, he ceases to breathe. Over. You just sabotaged the very core of his being - his conscience...........and now, he is one of you.