You. I. 26/11

I'm not doing this because it is being done everywhere. On FB, twitter and every possible social platform.
I'm not doing this because I want people to know how profoundly it hurt me, how much it shook me up.
I'm doing this simply because I want to. Because it is like a boiling lava inside of me, and its time for it to come out.

26/11. I saw it. You saw it. The whole world saw it.
Saw, and sympathised. Saw, and got worked up. Saw, and demanded for something to be done.

But for me, it was different. I can't explain it. and I'm not saying that you are all cold souls for not feeling it as much as I did. No. It was just...different.

The first time I saw the news flash across the TV screen, I froze. VERY unlike me, for I generally have storng reactions towards anything and everything. I just sat there, unblinking.
I don't have any loved ones in Mumbai. Ones who I'd be scared for, ones whose loss would shatter me.
but it still happened. The hurt. It was almost like a PHYSICAL ailment.
I sat there for a long time, a hollow expression on my face, not wanting to look, but not wanting to look away either.
And then....I broke down. Where it came from, I have NO clue. But I did. Cried like someone close had died.

But someone/something HAD, right ?
Humanity.
Compassion.
Brotherhood.
Peace.
Harmony.
Freedom.
All of this, and more. Blown up to shreds.

IT all happened in a jiffy !
Mothers wailing, children crying and blood everywhere. Agonising, unbelievable pain.
For me. For all of those who were unlucky enough to be in the wrong place in a horridly wrong time.
For thousands of you out there. It gave us goosebumps. Threatened us out of our reverie.

Today. Such an ominous day. A sad, SAD day.

I'm overwhelmed. This post might not be making sense to you. It isn't making any sense to me either.

It is just a venting out exercise.

I pray for all those who were scarred by this incident in one way or the other.

But then, who am I to pray ? Pray to a God I don't believe in ?
Such a hypocrite.

For it is only the YOU in you that matters

Life has its devious ways of getting right back at you. Just when you thought you sifted your happy ending out of a mess of nightmares, another one comes hurtling towards you with invincible might. The question is, does it destroy you, or does it make you stronger ?

Life's anything but fair. you'll have a love gone sour, a friendship crumbled to pieces, admirers turned hostile and a future gone bleak. but you know what hurts the most ? When your own self turns its back on you. THAT is when you hear your heart breaking, your world crumbling down around you, and all the other cliches' you can possibly think of. You were your only hope; your only escape from the harsh realities of the world. You can't give up on yourself !

And yet, it happens. Leaves you shattered, alone to pick up the pieces. End of how you knew life, end of the 'you' in yourself.

The real challenge isn't in dealing with the situation. The real challenge lies in getting yourself back.

Get up, dust yourself and get going ! Your self couldn't have gone too far ! look for it; in every corner of this round world until you find it.

And that union, my friend, is the ultimate bliss of all. :)

I refuse !

Make me the mourner of your tragedy
The executor of your sins
Hear me say this, I refuse to be !
Hear me say this, I refuse to let you win!

A fire mistaken for calm
The calm, for upheaval
As I run away from the nightmares, closer they swarm
Hear me say this, I refuse not to feel !

The tears were all shed for you
(Or so they were thought to be)
As you force me to live life through your tainted view
Hear me say this, I shut my eyes, I refuse to see !

You enter me, my soul exits
The venom of your lust courses through my viens
Hear me say this, I refuse to be the puzzle peice that fits!
Hear me say this, I refuse to let my selfless love be a bane !

Hear me say this, I refuse to be bound by a love so sour
Hear me say this, I refuse to set my chagrin free
Hear me say this, I refuse to let you be in unjust power
Hear me say this, I refuse to let you be ME...