I’ve always been a sucker for amorous flicks. Call me a hopeless
romantic, but these movies make me feel happy. They make me believe in
love, in the theory of soul mates, in trust and most importantly, in
happy endings. Boy meets girl, trials and tribulations, long stretches
of time spent away from one another; but none of this changes the fact
that they’ll be together in the end. Together, and happy.
Not only do I LIKE these movies, but with the passage of time, I
started BELIEVING in the events that took place in them. It’s the
cliché flow of events: Girl falls for guy, guy breaks her heart,
realises what he’s done wrong and apologises. The apologising part is
something I believed would happen. Someday. I hoped, and wished, and
prayed. I entreated with all my might that at some point of time, he’d
realise that what he did was wrong and unethical, and that maybe by
apologising to me, he’d lessen the hurt. And do you know what the
worst part is? I STILL find myself wishing for it to ensue. No, it
didn’t happen like it did in those chick flicks. The only part bearing
a slight resemblance to the movies is the part where I cried, hoped,
struggled; where I failed to put it all behind me. I always thought
that there would be a point when I would be able to say that I’m
FINALLY over the guy. A day when seeing him/his facebook profile
wouldn’t bring back a flood of memories. A day when I won’t skip a
beat every time someone mentions his name. A day when.....when the
mourning period would finally, and DEFINATELY, end. Unfortunately,
for me, the point never came. And I don’t see it coming anytime soon,
too. What he did to me was plain nasty. Something you don’t do to
girls. Something which is, I don’t know, immoral. But he did it
nonetheless. He did it, made me cry, made me regret being with him and
gave me another rationale to curse myself for not being able to let
bygones be bygones.
Now, one might ask, what’s HIS fault in all of this? His fault is that
he made me believe in him. His fault is that he made me love him, made
me forget how life was sans him. His fault is that he has turned cold
and callous now. Not very long ago, he was bothered about the reason
behind every little sigh of mine. Seeing me upset bogged HIM down. He
spent hours and hours, trying to cheer me up. Trying to make me smile.
And I got SO addicted to all the love and care that when it was taken
away from me, it left me shattered.
However, as they say, time doesn’t wait for anybody. And I’m no exception to this
rule. I will HAVE to move on; will have to get on with my life. And guess what ? I just did. I've put it all behind me. I won't say I don't care anymore, but I've learned to let the caring bit pass. not affect me like it used to earlier.
As I was writing this post, I felt it all getting out of me. The
suppressed emotions, desires, recollections...everything. And I think
that I’m pretty close to the I-have-moved-on-point. So close, that I
can almost taste it. :)
His fault is that he didn't make you realize that what you were assuming to be the-perfect-love was just another perspective of infatuation.
ReplyDeleteThis generation, doesn't understand what falling in for another human is. They mix-up the XY feelings with YX and mess-up, and then both the parties after separation boast about their stability and self-esteem by the virtue of portraying their Move-On skill-set - How idiotic!
I fail to absorb the concept of these meshy-relationships.
And nice to know that you too have learned 'how to survive it!'.
-Puri.
Oh Gosh !
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty harsh. And polite. MAn, I'm confused now ! :\
Anyway, I think you're right. And I respect your viewpoint. But for me, there's not much to the world at 16. These things constitute my everyday life. And f you look at this post from THAT perspective, I think you'll get how it meant a lot to me.
I hope you'll eventually realise that to a teenager, getting over a person is a huge deal. I'm not being boastful about it ; I'm just admitting that I WAS stupid, and that admitting it is the only way out of it. IT feels great. :)
But I REALLY appreciate your views. Thansk a lot. :)
Well, I do understand that he was everything for you THEN. But if you think that you were being stupid at some point in time and that you agree with it, then you would have NEVER blamed him in words, though in mind you could have had(which everyone does).
ReplyDeleteRefer to the para: "Now, one might ask, what’s HIS fault in all of...." - This para is evident of the same considering the time you wrote the post and understanding the tendency of humans to pen down the EXACT emotions when they are in a flow.
(: I was polite in my previous comment, just that I didn't use emo-icons.
-Puri.
Life teaches us lessons that we've no desire to learn, but then who wants to swallow a bitter pill?
ReplyDeleteSometimes, when things like these happen, they only make us stronger. Sure, in the thick of it, it is unbearable, but with time, it gets better and they make us improve. :) Love the title of this post. :)
PS - I don't mean to be disrespectful to the 'polite', Mr. Puri, but before dismissing anyone by saying, "this generation doesn't understand what falling for another human is", I think you should know that love doesn't know any logic, and young love, maybe an infatuation, but it is pure and unfettered by any bias or needs.